This is a poem about the perils of eating lunch alfresco.
My grated vegan cheese just blew off my cracker
I suspect it was due to a definite lack of
Butter or something to keep it stuck down
And now it's artistically spread on the ground
Not for me the 5 second rule
Despite contrary evidence I'm not that much of a fool
To pick it all up would take far too long
And the dog has just licked it so it would just be wrong
Oh sod it I'm hungry and there's no more in the fridge
And the cupboards are bare except for porridge
I'll pick it up quickly and hope I'm not seen
And try not to think of where the dog's tongue has been
I suspect it was due to a definite lack of
Butter or something to keep it stuck down
And now it's artistically spread on the ground
Not for me the 5 second rule
Despite contrary evidence I'm not that much of a fool
To pick it all up would take far too long
And the dog has just licked it so it would just be wrong
Oh sod it I'm hungry and there's no more in the fridge
And the cupboards are bare except for porridge
I'll pick it up quickly and hope I'm not seen
And try not to think of where the dog's tongue has been